Chapter 137
Selene POV
I was not okay!
Even if I was going to be betrayed the second time, couldn’t fate choose another script for me? What was it with my mates that other women wouldn’t let me be with them? What was so special about the women that I didn’t have that always made them forget that I was a wonderful woman and I belonged to them?
I stormed out of the pack house, my vision blurred by hot tears of rage and humiliation that burned in my eyes. How could I have been so naïve? So blind and foolish? Noah had betrayed me. Again! Just like his nephew, Xavier.
Just like the last time, I had loved and trusted him with every fibre of my being, only for him to shatter that trust by sleeping with Belinda and now, just when I was beginning to warm up to Noah… to give him a space in my heart…to finally love again, he played me for a fool and slept with his ex – Brooke. The same woman I had warned him over and over again. It seemed my punishment was to relieve the anguish I felt with Xavier all over again.
Sinking onto the wrought-iron bench in the secluded rose garden, a bitter, mirthless laugh escaped my lips through my angry sobs. I had allowed myself to soften, to love again and nurture seeds of genuine feeling for my mate once more. Like a sapling reaching for the sun, my heart had reopened and the hurt I once felt was almost healed and now it was desperate for the love and devotion I had been so cruelly denied.
Just like his nephew… Noah had trampled over the little bud of love that was sprouting for him.
“You weak, pathetic excuse for a woman,” I spat at myself through gritted teeth. Was I doomed to be a lovesick fool? Forever blinded by my hopeless romantic idea and easily bruised heart? When will I learn that trust and affection are liabilities, shackles to be shattered rather than weaknesses to surrender to?
At that moment, the memories came rushing back – every brutal sight and agonizing torment Xavier had subjected me to during our mating. The insults I had to swallow whenever my weak nature would not let me be like the Luna he so desired. The endless nights spent crying silently into my pillow as I heard his delightful grunts of pleasure from his room along the corridor when he was with Belinda and his string of women whom he paraded when Belinda was not around.
I had married Noah to aid the vengeance I had started four years ago but I had also determined to make Xavier feel the same crippling desolation he had condemned me to. I knew he would need me… but the pain of me being with him… being in the family but not belonging to him but somehow, I had let myself go and allowed Noah to lure me into complacency again… But no more!
I rose on trembling legs, as I gritted my teeth in a fresh resolve. I was not going to make the same mistake twice. The only reason I had damned the consequences and gone after Noah was to make Xavier and his entire family suffer. The Steele’s who had killed my family and severed me from every time I had with members of my former pack. The Steele’s had watched and done nothing when their son passed me through hell and most of all, Lycan Noah… King of the Region had ignored all the messages I had sent to him to call Xavier to attention and make him stop maltreating. Discover more novels at.net
All the means I had implored to help me gain freedom had disappeared without a response. So, I was going to make them all suffer… they’ll live and watch me snatch what is beloved of theirs and by the Moon, I will not stop until that goal is realized. No matter what hollow, meaningless vows I was forced to break in the process.
Noah’s humiliation would be my crowning achievement, the ultimate dessert for my seven-course scheming. Then I would finally wash my hands of him and his family forever. They weren’t going to die… I wanted them to live and regret.
A twig snapped behind me, slicing through my reverie. I swung around bracing myself for a confrontation either with Brooke or Reid or Noah himself… (I had hoped he had followed me thought) but it was Xavier standing there, hands raised in a placating gesture as his brows furrowed into concern.
“Leave me alone, Xavier,” I lashed out without thinking, hating that he could see me in my vulnerable state. I was a mess, my mascara had run off, my eyes were red from crying and my nose was running. If I was going to make him suffer at least not in this state. “Did you come here to laugh at me or to tell me,” I mimicked him “I told you so! – well, I hope you’re happy now, not get off and leave me alone,”.
“Selene he started.
“Why are you still here?” I turned to him, my brows scrunched up in annoyance “I told you I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear from you or listen to you talk to me. You’ve tormented me enough for several lifetimes, what else do you want?”
“I heard what happened,” he said, his deep voice laced with surprising gentleness. “With Noah and Brooke and I followed your scent here he trailed off as he scratched his head “I wanted to see if you were… alright,”.
A dry laugh burst from my lips before I could stop it. “And why would you care about my well-being? So, you can revel in my pain once more?”
He flinched and took a deep sigh as he dropped his hands to his sides then took a step towards me “You know that’s not how it is anymore, Selene. Not for a long time now. You’re a part of me and I can feel your pain whenever you’re sad, even though this is wrong timing, I still love you… the only reason why I have been distant is that you belong to Noah… for now at least but what I feel for you hasn’t changed,”.
“Perfect timing!” I scoffed as tears gathered at the corners of my eyes again “That is the perfect word I want to hear at this moment, Xavier. With me dealing with a cheating partner and goddess knows what next is going to happen… you think a confession from my wicked ex who never for once told me he loved me in seven years of our marriage is what you think I need right now?”
“I’m sorry!” he sighed and took another step towards me.
He was ridiculously close to me and I wanted to stay away from him… I didn’t want him this close to me, I told myself to move but somehow, my feet were stuck. I waited, looking at him with anticipation. As I opened my mouth to hurl more insults at him, but the words died in my throat as he closed the remaining distance between us in two long strides.
He pulled me into a warm embrace and his rich smell of the earth after rainfall surrounded me in a cloud of bittersweet memory and longing.
“Let me go!” I snarled, shoving against his chest my all the pent-up emotions lodged inside my chest threatened to drown me from the inside out. “Get your damn hands off me, you arrogant song of a
“Shhh he hushed me tucking my head under his chin with ease as if we have done this several times and goddamn it! I fit into him perfectly like a curve. “You don’t have to pretend with me, Selene… I know I have hurt you… I know he has hurt you so much that you feel like ripping our eyes off our heads and feeding it to the birds… let it all out!”
My breath hitched at the use of his old method of comforting me. By the way… I didn’t say the whole truth. Xavier was tender to me once…and it was the day I got a report that my parents were killed on their way to Greyhound. Then, I was at the peak of my suffering and somehow, I had sneaked a letter to them.
They were coming to Greyhound when they were attacked by rogue wolves – according to the story. I couldn’t attend their burials… I didn’t get to mark their graves… I didn’t even know where they were buried. When I had demanded to go with Xavier and his family his mom had told me plainly that I couldn’t go with them. That there was no way they could keep up with someone as weak as me.
When they had returned, I remembered walking up to Xavier, feeling so angry and trying to hit him but back then, my punches felt like the kicks of a baby. So tiny and insignificant. After a few seconds of hitting him with tears streaming down my eyes, he pulled me into his arms and comforted me.
Just like back then… it worked. My resistance crumbled, and suddenly I was clinging to him as fiercely as he held me, bitter, body-wracking sobs tearing from my throat. Eight years’ worth of anguish, torment and heartache, poured out of me in waves. He held me silently, stroking my head and murmuring comforting words to me.
In that moment… just like before – I was his again. His mate… his everything. Despite the bone-deep weariness and hatred for him that had hardened around my heart, I felt all the walls crumble. I hadn’t even realized how utterly depleted I was. How badly I needed to be held by no other but Xavier. Even when he had abused me and hurt me… he had always been my safe harbour.
Perhaps, some part of me had known, before my conscious mind could catch up, that only he could fully understand and soothe me. Tomorrow, the sun would rise and our darned Fate’s cruelties would press in around us once more. But for this moment… free from our duties and obligations… we were simply Xavier and Selene… tangled together as mates were meant to be.
And for this last time, finally… it was enough.