Chapter 189
Chapter 189
The knock on the door has the two of us jumping apart. I stared up at him with wide eyes. What the fuck was that? Was he toying with me now? I shook my head to clear the muddled thoughts racing through my mind. I needed to take a few steps back, but the counter was behind me . I wanted to push him away , but I knew if I touched him, I would fall apart. I would jump into his arms and I would allow him to walk over my heart like I did with Brandon.
He isn’t him . Megan’s soft voice countered my inner thoughts. He is nice, and just, and-
And not mine. I stopped her. If I allow myself to think about him in any other way, I think I will shatter this time. He might not be Brandon, but I never really liked him as a person. I loved him as my mate because we were destined to be together. As the moon goddess intended , but I never viewed him as a friend, a partner. Someone I could grow with. I felt the burn of tears. I can see that with Rowan.
Then why not? Nix’s voice was softer than I had ever heard her. Why not see where this could go?
Because. I looked up into his eyes that were searching mine. Because he doesn’t actually want me. I have to be smarter than I was in my last life. We need to be smarter. I coughed as I realized we were just staring at each other. “I should get that.” I looked away as I reached back to turn off the water. I trailed against the cupboards, trying my best not to touch him, but his eyes trailed me the entire time. I rounded the corner and wiped away the tear that finally fell as I straightened my shoulders.
“Yeah. Sure.” Rowan’s voice trailed me and I closed my eyes for a second, leaning against the wall to collect myself. But I didn’t have long as the knock sounded again and I could hear the faint sniffles coming from my mother. I think Rowan heard her too. His voice came closer. “I should actually get going.” I felt a punch to my gut, but I shook it off. This was for the best. This is what I needed.
“Of course.” I smiled as he rounded the corner. He stared at my face for a second too long, and I knew he probably caught the slight redness in my eyes from fighting the tears. I coughed again and turned back to the door. “Thank you for coming. I appreciated the backup when talking to everyone. You aren’t mad that I told them ? That I’m going to tell my mother?”
“No.” Rowan’s voice was soft. I felt a slight breeze near my shoulder and I closed my eyes. Please, goddess, don’t let him touch me. I prayed. “I won’t be around, and I want you to have people you can trust around you.”
“Good.” I smiled. “Thank you for the apartment. It is amazing.” I smiled over my shoulder.
“No worries.” Rowan ran a hand through his hair. “Amy?” could tell he wanted to discuss it. But I cut my eyes away before he caught the sheen of tears in my eyes.
Please don’t. I begged. Not right now. “Yeah?” I turned as we reached the door .
“Nothing.” His eyes cut away as he tucked his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I’m heading back out tonight, and I don’t know when I will get to see you next.”
“Oh.” I felt hallow as his words hit me like physical blows. I understand. You are the king.”
He nodded. “And from the looks of what happened today, have a lot of things I need to clean up.” He closed his eyes. “About today..
“Don’t even worry about it. It’s my fault.” I smiled up at him and opened the door, effectively cutting off any conversation we would have had. I don’t think I would survive him telling me he couldn’t or wouldn’t be with me.
He is not your mate. He is not your mate. I ran the words through my mind on repeat. The tears were getting closer to spiling over and I really didn’t want him here to witness it.
“Baby.” My mom’s voice broke the tension, and we both turned to face her. Her dark brown hair was a mess, her face swollen and red from her sobs . Her eyes with shifted to her wolves, and I knew she was about to break apart.
Chapter 189
+25 BONUS
He…” She stumbled over her words when she saw Rowan . But her grief won out. “He’s gone baby. You dad is gone.” She practically ran into my arms and as I wrapped my arms around her waist, she shattered. 3