Chapter 48
I smile when I hear the familiar sound of my window closing. My heart leaps, and my stomach fills with butterflies. Ford’s footsteps are slow and steady as he walks across my floor, and though I am exhausted from the show, I still planned to stay awake until he showed up.
My bed dips, and it takes everything in me not to roll to my back.
His finger hooks around a wavy piece of my hair, and he sweeps it off to the side, giving way to my bare shoulder. I clench my thighs when he places a soft kiss to the hollow part of my collarbone, pulling a shaky sigh from my mouth.
With every trailing kiss against my skin, a round of chills follows closely behind, until I can’t take it anymore. I move to my back and latch onto his shadowy figure hovering over me.
“You said you trusted me,” his whisper floats to my lips.
My eyebrows furrow. “I do,” I confirm breathlessly.
There is something unhinged in his voice. It’s almost unrecognizable.
“Do you want me to trust you?” he asks.
What? Where is this coming from? “Yes…” I answer him hesitantly.
I jump when the covers are abruptly pulled from my body. Ford’s finger falls to the space in between my breasts, and it leaves a fire behind as he trails it all the way to the apex of my thighs. I’m breathing heavily from the touch, but he turns the fire to ash when he pulls away.
I’m suddenly confused. “What are you doing?”
He remains silent for far too long. My heart beats faster, and I’m suddenly aware of how still he is.
“Punishing you.”
The room tilts, even in the dark. “Punishing me? For what?”
“For lying to me.”
I huff with anger and move to get up, but it’s short-lived because Ford grabs my hips with a tight grip and traps me below him. “You promised me you wouldn’t mess with your insulin again.”
I jerk with denial. “I haven’t.”
Ford’s mouth is so close I can almost taste it. His warm breath is minty, and I’ve never craved something as much as I’ve started to crave him. I even crave his anger and so-called punishment. “Then why are your sugar levels all messed up?”
“I already told you that I don’t know!” I admit. “Maybe the few times I did take the wrong amount, it did more damage than I thought.” I try to hide the fear from my voice, but there’s a deep-rooted concern in the pit of my stomach every time an alert goes off on my phone.
“Damnit, Taytum!” Ford’s voice is hoarse, and I don’t know if it’s from anger or fear. “I can’t lose you.”
My hands curve around his biceps, and for a brief second, I wish he didn’t care about me as much as he does, because what if something happens? What if my organs fail or I unknowingly fall back into DKA and end up in the MICU again? The panic would take him under. I’ve only seen it happen once, but it was traumatic to watch.
“You won’t lose me,” my whisper floats into the silence that surrounds us.
Ford’s arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me in close. “Promise me you’ll always put yourself before anyone else.”
I pause. “That’s asking a lot.”
He shakes against me. “Not to me it isn’t.”
Ford reaches across me and flips on the lamp. I suck in a breath at the look on his face. His blue eyes are hardened with unyielding emotion, and he looks at me like he’s afraid I’m going to slip right through his fingers. “I can’t lose you,” he warns. “Especially if it’s the same way I lost her.”
He’s referring to his mom, and I feel sick.
My chin quivers, and I can’t help but feel everything all at once.
I want to go back to our secretive flirting, when things were lighter, but we’re too invested at this point. We know each other too deeply, which is why the room is suddenly filled with desperation.
“Promise me, Taytum. Please. Even if you and I are never more than what we are tucked away in this room, I need to know that you’ll always put yourself first.”
My chest constricts at the validity in his tone, and I crumble. Ford is quick to wipe away my tears. He grips my cheeks, and his thumbs work in overtime to fling away the moisture. “I promise,” I finally say.
A tiny divot carves in between his eyebrows. “And promise you’ll let me take care of you. No matter what.”
I sniffle. I’m not sure he’ll always want to take care of me, but I still nod. “I promise.”
His fingers disappear into my hair, and he brings my forehead to his mouth. The kiss is tender, and the room settles. I grab onto his wrists, and he pulls back to peer into my eyes.
“Ford?”
His forehead creases. “Yeah, baby?”
I feel incredibly vulnerable. More vulnerable than I’ve ever let myself be. “Will you take care of me now?”
He briefly looks at my mouth. “I thought you’d never ask.”