Chapter 149
0149 (Lily POV) I meant it when I said that today would be a long day. I am meeting with the Wolf Packers’ doctor from 12 to 3 this afternoon, and then I am working at the girls’ home from 5 to 11 tonight. In between, I need to go grocery shopping, eat, and get a little bit of laundry done. Given my schedule, I felt a little guilty for telling James I could talk to him today; I was unsure if I would actually have time. Thankfully, I was happy (and nervous) when I got his text message around 10 am asking if now was a good time to talk. Rose wanted me to call James right then and there, but first I needed to have another mini panic attack. It took Rose about five minutes to calm me down, but once she did, I was totally fine. So, fine, in fact, that I quickly dialed James’ phone number before I could change my mind again. “Hello?” “Hi, James.” “Hi, Lily.” I could practically feel James smiling through the phone. It made me smile too. “How are you?” James asked. “I am doing really good. Plus or minus a few panic attacks. Are you okay? I was worried when I read your messages last night.” “You were? Why?” “I don’t know. They just seemed… intense.” “Yeah, that’s probably fair. It has been a really long 24 hours.” “What happened?” “Eh, just the typical. Found out that I have been surrounded by a bunch of psychotic werewolves most of my life. Found out some more about the hell you went through here. Oh, and apparently I knocked up Sheila.” I winced at the sound of Shejla’s name. “Sheila, really? Hmmmm.” “Yeah. But don’t worry; apparently I knocked up Joey’s 63-year-old cousin too.” “Wow. That does sound like a lot. At this point you might as well go for your own basketball team.” James laughed. “That is exactly what I said this morning.” “Great minds. There was a brief moment of silence. “What did you mean when you said you had panic attacks?” James asked. “Oh, I get them every now and then. No big deal. Rose usually gets me through them.” “What triggers them?” “Various things. Usually it is me worrying and over-thinking things.” “Like what?” “Well, last night, this werewolf I know thought it would be a really good idea to tell me ‘I love you’ by text.” “Oh. About that “Do you want to take it back?” My heart raced a little bit as I asked the question. I regretted asking it as soon as it left my mouth, “No. Not even a little bit.” I was surprised by the relief I felt by his answer. “But?” I asked. I knew there had to be a “but.” “But I do not expect you to feel the same way. Not now. Not yet. Not after everything.” “Told you,” Rose linked. “Thank you for understanding. Ineed time to heal, James. I am really messed up. And I think you need time, too.” There was a long stretch of silence. “Lily, I need to tell you something,” James said seriously. “I want you to hear it from me first, so that you do not misunderstand.” The relief I felt before went away. Now I felt scared. “Did you knock up Nick, too? I am still getting used to being in the shadow of my sister. I don’t know if I could live under Nick’s too,” I joked. “Never say that again, Lily,” James said, suddenly sounding angry. “Say what? I was just trying to make a joke.” Now I felt confused. Was he not joking about knocking up a 63-year-old just a few minutes ago? Why is he being sensitive about this now? “I mean it, Lily. Never say that again.” “Okay… okay…. I promise to never again accuse you of sleeping with my brother. Happy?” “No, Lily.” I heard James take a deep breath. “I meant the part about your sister. I never want to hear you say, ever again, that you are ‘getting used to’ living in Stephanie’s shadow. That may have been your past, but I will be d&&ned if that is your present or your future. Stephanie was not even a quarter of the she- wolf that you are. I am sorry that I did not see that until it was too late.” Wow. I did not expect that. I wiped a single tear from my eye. “What… what did you want to tell me, James?” James sighed. “Promise me that you will hear me out completely before you react okay?” I did not say anything. I still felt scared. “Lily, please. I need to tell you this, but I also need you to promise me that you will not get angry or panic until I am completely done explaining. Okay?”
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