Chapter 83
0083
(James POV)
“James, if you are here because you think that I can replace Stephanie, you should know… I am not
Stephanie. Nor do I want to be.”
I look at Lily in confusion. “Is that what you think? That I am here because I want you to replace your
sister?”
“Of course that is what she thinks, you a&&hole!” Luke links me. “Tell her it is not true!!!”
“I am not her, James,” Lily repeats.
“I know that, Lily!” I respond, almost angrily.
“Maybe you know that now… but that day at the waterfall….”
Oh, my Goddess. I had forgotten about the waterfall. I am an even bigger idiot than I thought.
I reach out and take Lily’s hand. ‘Lily, you are my mate. I admit that I used to think that Stephanie was…. but I was wrong. We were all wrong. You are my mate. You.”
“You mean that I am your second chance mate.”
“No, Lily, I mean that you are my first mate, my true mate, my only mate. Unless you had another mate that I am unaware of, which I am pretty sure is impossible, we are first and true mates.”
Lily shakes her head. She seems to be struggling with accepting all of this. “But you loved Stephanie. I cannot compete with her, and I do not want to.”
I sigh. “I did love Stephanie. Or at least I thought I did. I can’t change that. But she is gone now, and my prior love for her does not impact how I am feeling about you right now.”
Still holding her hand, I reach over and stroke her cheek with my other hand. She immediately recoils from my touch and yanks her hand away from me.
“No, James. Do not try to use the mate bond or the sparks as a weapon against me. I am trying to be
serious here.”
So she does still feel the sparks.
“The day that we rejected each other, I made some important decisions. I decided that I would no longer allow myself to live underneath Stephanie’s shadow; to be bullied and ridiculed; or to spend time with people who do not want me or care about me. Life is better for me now that I have left West Mountain. I
“You mean Brady,” I say bitterly. “You mean you have Brady around to care about you.”
She nods. “Brady, yes. But not just Brady. Dr. Hyder and his wife have become like surrogate parents for me. And I have friends now… friends who do not look at me like I am a murderer. Friends who are not
embarrassed to be seen hanging out with me. Friends who do not….”
Her voice trails off, and I cannot help but wonder what else she was going to say. Whatever it was, she drops it and looks up in the sky
“Look, James, I do not know what you expected when you came out here, but you cannot expect me to
give up my new life for that hell–hole that was my old one.”
Lily’s words gut me. Was life really that bad for her at West Mountain?
“Yes, you a&&. You saw her medical records, and you know as well as I do that we have not even
scratched the surface of what was really going on,” Luke chastises me.
“Lily, I… Lily, I never…”
I cannot finish my sentence. The words escape me. I have no idea what to do to make things better. I
do not know if it is even possible. Perhaps it really is too late.
I take a deep breath. I have to keep trying.
“Lily, I know that it is largely my fault that your life was the way that it was back then. I messed up. Badly. But, please, hear me when I tell you that I want to make it up to you. You are my Goddess–chosen
mate, and that means something.”
“But I am not Stephanie.”
“Stop saying that. I do not want you to be her,” I say confidently. “I want you to be you.”
Lily’s next words floor me.
“Do you know who that is?”
(Lily POV)
I hear and feel so much sincerity and regret in James‘ words that I find myself in an internal war with
myself.
Part of me wants to accept the mate bond and jump into his arms. Another part of me wants to keep
escaped from.
“Are you standing up for yourself or are you putting up walls?” Rose asks me.
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