Chapter 41
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Dr. Miller said that it was normal for wolves to block their humans for a while after a rejection, because
they need time on their own to heal and process. Unfortunately, I knew that in our situation, there was
more to it than that. Luke had begged me not to accept Lily’s rejection, and in a fit of rage, I had blocked
him out and done it anyway.
Luke and I were a team, and who we accept or reject as a mate is a decision that directly impacts us
both. In my anger, I made the decision for both of us. I knew that it would be a while before he would
forgive me for that, if he ever would. I could only pray to the Moon Goddess that, in time, he would
understand that we had no choice but to reject Lily. There was no way that our pack would have ever
accepted her as a future Luna, and sharing a bed with someone to blame for us losing the love of our life
was a torture neither of us should have to deal with.
Ultimately, I spent a week feeling guilty about what I had done, and then I spent a week feeling angry at
Luke for being too stubborn to see the mistake that the Moon Goddess had made by pairing us with Lily.
Then, in week three, I shifted to looking for someone else to blame. The Little Brat was, of course, the most logical target. I began to once again curse her in my mind, adding “wolf-killer” to her list of sins and murderous traits. I largely set aside my initial worry about the Little Brat’s condition, telling myself that her decision to show up bruised and battered to Stephanie’s memorial was just as much a ploy for attention as her bizarre behavior at Stephanie’s very first memorial event. I also began to day-dream about new ways to get revenge. Some of my better ideas included making her my personal maid whose responsibilities would include hand-washing the bedding that I would “dirty” multiple times a day, and/or hiring a painter to paint murals of Stephanie and I hugging and kissing on all four walls of the Little Brat’s
bedroom. *
Eventually and unfortunately, during week four, the yo-yo of emotions running through me shifted again. Every time I thought of some new revenge plot, I felt Luke retreat further and further away. It sort of took the fun out of the revenge planning process.
Just as importantly, as much as I am ashamed to admit it… I had never been able to completely shake my ongoing, gut worry about whether Lily was okay. Without a wolf, and with all the extensive injuries that Lily had, I could only imagine that the rejection hit her far harder than it hit me. Were her parents and Nick with her to help her through it, like my parents were with me? Was she receiving the medical attention that she needed? Was there anything more that could be done to help her?
In my mind, I knew I should not care. The Little Brat killed her sister, and her decision years later to taunt me into accepting her rejection may have cost me my wolf.
However, after finding myself unable to ignore the worry any longer, I started to rationalize it. The Little Brat may be a callous, unfeeling wh ore, but I am not. I am going to be the alpha of this pack in the next
misguided, murderous ones.
With resolve in my gut, I marched myself to my father’s office for the purpose of demanding both that his
alpha orders be lifted and that I be finally updated on how the Little Brat is faring.
Goddess help me, I knocked on his office door.
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